Fear of Anger (Part Two)
Anger can serve us in many ways. It can be a good barometer or touchstone to recognize that there is something we need to address or out of balance in our lives. Anger is often a mask for hurt, fear, or feelings of abandonment. Looking past anger and taking a step back; seeing objectively what the anger is attached to is an important step towards healing.
Has someone crossed a boundary of mine? Am I really hurt? Do I feel as if someone has wronged or betrayed me? Maybe I don't feel heard?
Whatever the story is I need to speak my truth in a healthy and balanced way. The trick is to figure out what my truth might be? Perhaps speaking with a friend or safe person to share my feelings with is a good choice, when I'm not clear. Someone that can listen without judgment on their part is important. Just saying it out loud helps me to process my truth at a deeper level. Then if appropriate; I can share with the person I am angry at with clearer thought. Speaking the truth brings a certain empowerment to myself, that aligns with me, at a core level. In turn helps me to trust and love myself even deeper; for honoring my true-self.
I have always been someone that stuffs or denies my Anger. When my Anger is directed inward this turns into deep depression. Depression has been a struggle for me, my whole life. I am truly hoping that as I shift my perspective that this struggle will now be, behind me.
Then the flip side of this was "The Straw the Broke the Camel's Back!" This would be the times that I would stuff my anger for so long and then be angry for the dish in the sink instead of whatever the real issue was at the time. This was the uncontrollable anger that scared me!
Anger can be our friend if used in a balanced and proper way. Always remembering that I can cause harm to myself with my inward anger (depression) or to others with unleashing the terrifying anger, that can be a terrible weapon or a form of abuse.
There is powerful energy in Anger to help us in healing, and it is a wake-up call for change. For me being in fear of anger and a child raised by anger; letting go of the belief system is key to move past it. Letting go is easier said than done believe me I've danced with this process for many years around many different subjects!!! So how do you truly let go and move forward?
Perhaps it is time to let go of my story that is attached to Anger. Healing the wounds from my childhood. Telling that wounded child, the silent one that she is safe now. Letting the rebel know that she has done her job protecting our child. She is also safe and free of the part she played. Their burden has now been lifted so they may play and be joyful as all children should.
Letting go of the voices of the past. Remembering that this is no longer true for me at this point in my life. Being gentle, loving and caring with myself saying different stories to myself now. I am strong and make healthy choices in my life. I face anger now and see what needs to change in my life. I make healthier and more balanced changes in my life. These are all good affirmations for me every day to change the stories of the past.
Feeling my feelings fully whatever they maybe at the time that I'm experiencing them, then processing what they are about, acknowledgement; taking appropriate action if needed, and then releasing them helps me move forward with my life in a healthier way today.
Once I traveled the seas of anger; but I have now arrived on the shores of peace, harmony and compassion.